Immorality is Contagious
by Walking Backwards
Summary: 10 year old Lelouch is certain he's doomed. C.C. doesn't really care one way or another. *C.C. raises Lelouch.* Future SuzaLulu BROMANCE/friendship. AU


C.C. was not a woman of strong sympathies. People loved, people hurt, and people got over themselves… with varying degrees of success. C.C. gave up on herself, on her _happiness, _centuries ago; there wasn't much need to put effort on other people anymore. _Unless they were a possible prospect of ending her excruciating eternity_, her subconscious supplied.

But no, ruining yet another child's life with her selfish desire was not something she mindlessly aspired to.

Not like_ her._ (_A wide grin and eyes full of madness and painbloodsomuchblood– ) _

Especially not the life of a child of a woman she once considered something akin to a friend.

She watched the frail form of a young child curl into himself as a cold, strong wind blew through the filthy alleyway somewhere in the outskirts of the so-called Holy City of Pendragon.

C.C. was not a woman of strong sympathies.

That did not mean she didn't have any.

* * *

A young boy grimaced in distaste as yet another side shop peddler eyed his expensively tailored clothing and beckoned him over in hopes of an easy sale. Not for the first time, the boy wished he thought to wear something less conspicuous when he'd managed to escape the watchful eyes of his many guards and slip into the city.

_Away from them, _he thought.

_Away from Him._

Three days prior, Prince Lelouch vi Britannia, 11th son to the current Emperor of the most politically powerful country in the world ran away from home.

_Less of a home, more of a psychology experiment in progress,_ his elder brother Schneizel once remarked after a glass of wine too many.

After being denied an audience with his father weeks earlier, Lelouch simmered in his quarters - angry at his father for rejecting him, angry at his mother for abandoning him, angry at his half-sisters Euphemia and Cornelia for taking his place in spoiling Nunnally, and angry at Clovis for _not ever going away_.

"_Lulu, play chess with me! Lulu, let me draw your portrait! Lulu come try on this outfit I designed for you! Lulu _– MY NAME IS LELOUCH! Guh. Stupid Clovis, you are a fool if you think I'll let you come near me after that last frilly pink monstrosity." Lelouch fumed.

Yes. Clovis, in fact, was the _Him_ mentioned earlier.

Clovis was the reason he pushed every bit of furniture in front of his bedroom door (_huff—huff, why are these chairs so heavy?)_, the reason he crept down the thorny vines outside his window in the dead of night (_FU – where are my gloves? Why is it so dark?)_ and crawled under even thornier bramble to avoid the night guards (_was a rock garden not good enough for the oh-so-great palace or something?)_, and the reason he was forced to sacrifice his favorite cloak when it got inescapably caught in the roses (_I _JUST_ ordered that!_) – it was all for _sweet glorious_ _freedom_.

Clovis was driving him certifiably mad.

Every time Lelouch would crack his door open in hopes of avoiding Clovis to go visit his sweet-adorable-bestest little sister ever, he would be there – THAT FACE: RIGHT THERE, leering like a madman with an easel in one hand and a foldable chess set in the other, Lelouch's name on his lips – and a door slammed in his face. Lelouch could almost swear Clovis had set up camp outside his bedroom door and that he _never ever left_.

The death of Marianne vi Britannia 3 years prior had fostered a misplaced sense of parenthood in the then 14-year old Clovis la Britannia. Commanded by his father to learn and live under Schneizel and Clovis's guidance, there was really no evading the most annoying people ever_._ Not that Schneizel was _annoying_, per se. Aggravating may better describe him. Always beating Lelouch at chess and pinching his cheeks and nodding sagely whenever Lelouch went on a_ keep-Clovis-away-from-me_ rant.

Okay, _whatever_. Schneizel was annoying too.

But now three days after his great escape, he was out of money, food and maybe-kinda-sorta-completely lost.

Not that he'd admit it.

Which was why he was still lost.

He stared down at his useless phone which had made some fantastic shrills and sparks before short circuiting only a few hours earlier.

Don't ask him how it happened.

It most certainly did not involve a realistic marble statue of his father posed heroically in the center of a fountain. He also most definitely did not hurl said phone at said statue's face.

Because that would be petty and ridiculous – and Lelouch was above such things.

(Lelouch was never more proud of his aim than at that moment.)

Ahem.

Nonexistent-escapades aside, Lelouch was beginning to get a bit anxious. And angry. Weren't guards supposed to be swarming the city looking for him?

_Seriously_, 17th heir to the Empire of Britannia here, lost in his own city. Where were all the damned guards?

He spent the first two days ducking around in the shadows away from anyone who might get a good look at his face. Come third day, he gave up his one sided game of hide and seek, expecting to be found immediately and taken back to the castle to be admonished by Schneizel and smothered by Clovis.

Needless to say, that's not exactly what happened.

Really, it didn't happen like that at all.

_Absolutely nothing happened_ _at all_ and Lelouch was beyond livid.

He even found a Royal Guard on duty and glared at him for a solid 3 minutes before the guard got nervous and awkwardly fled the area.

Lelouch clearly needed a more visible role in the Royal Household.

He could always just ask for help – No, no. That was _not_ an option. His sense of manly pride must be maintained. How could he even think of such things?

And why were all the buildings in Pendragon so tall? Honestly, did all these buildings _really_ need to be over 30 floors high? What a waste of good, clean, empty viewing space. If only he could just blow them all up, then he'd be able to find the castle and go back to holing himself up in his room.

He pondered where he could acquire adequate explosives.

Lelouch stumbled suddenly, as he noticed the significant lack of daylight which usually accompanied daytime.

He looked up.

Nope, no sun. No clouds either. Is that – is that a UFO? Nah, probably just a weather balloon. But wow, that over there was definitely a star.

Well damn. This third day was no longer a day at all, and Lelouch had absolutely no where to go. The meager amount of money he originally ran away with (a typical Britannian's monthly wage) expired with the purchase of a delightful breakfast at an unremarkable looking restaurant (the fanciest restaurant in Northern Pendragon).

Running away from home might not have been his best plan yet. He wasn't sure if going back would be much better. If his father had bothered meeting with Lelouch those few weeks ago, Lelouch likely would have been stripped of his title in result of all the pleasant words he had planned to say. That wasn't exactly his best plan either, but hindsight is always 20/20.

"Maybe it's better if I stay lost. Nunnally is happy and safe with Euphy and Cornelia, I'm free of Clovis and Schneizel, and I… I have… nowhere to go." Discouraged, Lelouch struggled against a sudden strong wind and ambled his way into a deserted alley. The previously warm desert breeze had dispersed, the night chill mercilessly sweeping through the city in its wake.

He wheezed heavily as he sunk to the ground, wrapping his arms around his legs in effort to keep warm.

He supposed he should look for a place to stay for the night, but his mood took a drastic 180 with the thoughts of his family and he needed to sit down for a while. Attempting to force his brain to quit thinking depressing thoughts, he unwittingly drifted off to sleep in the cold, miserable alley.

* * *

"_Though no one official is prepared to comment, religious groups are calling it Judgment Day. There's…"_

Lelouch hummed contentedly as he was slowly roused from a long, comfortable sleep.

"…_Panic on the streets of Pendragon…"_

Ooh, panic. That's always fun. What did Cornelia destroy now?

"…_as an increasing number of reports of…"_

Maybe Schneizel and Clovis were finally looking for him? Was every dark haired, violet eyed kid being turned into the police stations in their desperate attempts to find him?

"…_serious attacks on…"_

Oh wow, they must be getting really worried.

"…_people, who are literally being…"_

Yeees?

"…_eaten alive."_

Wait… what?

"EATEN ALIVE?" Lelouch shrieked, sitting up to frantically look around for the source of information. Someone sniggered from somewhere to his right.

He very well may have broken the sound barrier with how quickly he whipped his neck towards the sound.

"You! Who are you?" Lelouch queried the far too comfortable woman sprawled out on a loveseat next to the couch he must have been sleeping on.

She proceeded to ignore him.

"_Oh, my God."_

"_She's so drunk."_

"_How much have you had, love?"_

Lelouch engaged his attention to the massive (_but not as impressive as Lelouch's_) television on the wall in front of them.

Oh.

_Ooh._

Oh thank whatever God might exist, it's only a movie. No people being eaten alive in his name.

He watched as two men threw records at a woman who was probably supposed to be a zombie.

Their aim was dreadful. Their form was all wrong; it's necessary to turn the body with the turn of the arm and –

"I love this movie."

Oh that's right.

Lelouch had no time to analyze throwing techniques – he's been kidnapped by this wretched green haired woman!

He observed his captor discreetly.

Well, as discreetly as a pervert who 'accidentally' walked into the wrong locker room with a goofy grin and video camera which was also (not so) discreetly blinking red in indication that it was on.

But semantics, really. Who needs it?

Yes, well, right. So he was observing his captor or something.

The woman's yellow eyes were riveted to the television, paying absolutely no heed to Lelouch. Blood rushed to Lelouch's face as he took into account the fact she was only dressed in a mostly unbuttoned and _much too tight and revealing_ sleeveless white shirt and –

No, he refused to look any longer. Such lewd attire in front of nobility was inexcusable.

Okay, that was a lie.

He totally looked.

Ten years old he may be, but that little Y chromosome passed down from his father had powerful influence over his actions. That's his story and he's sticking with it.

Clovis would have been disappointed, though. She was wearing an almost perfectly acceptable pair of shorts. Much too short in Lelouch's opinion, but he was a bit of a prude.

He would have to make sure Sweet Nunally was never exposed to such lasciviousness. Not that she could actually _see_ it, but that was beside the point. Morality can be contagious! Or immorality, in this case.

"_Ed! Just get her off me."_

"_Jesus!"_

The woman sniggered some more, still ignoring Lelouch.

That was simply unacceptable. Lelouch narrowed his eyes into slits and stormed into the woman's line of vision.

"You!" He dramatically flung his arm out and pointed his finger mere inches away from her unflinching face.

"Oh good, are you ready to go?" she answered neutrally as though he wasn't being kidnapped and held for ransom.

Was he?

"Uh… What?"

"The family that lives here is supposed to be back from their vacation this morning. We should probably go before they find us," she murmured as if it explained everything. Lelouch was still fairly sleepy, so maybe it did and he couldn't tell. He had his doubts.

"Oh… okay? WAIT – stop distracting me, who are you? Where is this? Why did you kidnap me?"

She stared lazily at him for a long moment.

"I'm C.C.," she finally answered. Lelouch folded his arms across his chest and grimaced.

What sort of name was C.C.? Or was it Cici?

She snickered a final time at the movie ("_We can take 'em – The man said to stay indoors – _Fuck_ the man."_) before turning the television off and walking out the door.

Unsure of what was happening, Lelouch followed her out of what ended up being an ordinary single story house in an even more ordinary neighborhood (not that he'd ever been to one).

"Where are you going?" he asked after catching up to C.C.'s lazy pace.

"Pizza Hut," she spoke these words almost reverently.

"Pizza… Pizza Hut? You're not going to try and ransom me or something?"

"Ransom you?" She seemed to ponder this for a minute, "I doubt they'd want a child in exchange for pizza. However, it is nice to know you have the right idea on mind. Acquiring pizza is top priority right now."

"I'm not – what are you – Excuse me?"

"You're excused," she dully replied.

Lelouch decided to overlook her disrespect. _For now_.

They walked together in tandem. She took long, slow strides in comparison to Lelouch's short, quick steps.

Lelouch couldn't help but remember his mother. She always walked a half step in front of him, his hand in hers.

"Why did you help me?" he asked after a comfortable silence. She apathetically examined him.

"You looked so pathetic, it would have been a crime to leave you out in that alley." C.C. answered. Lelouch's face flooded in mortification and he choked in indignation. "You should be thankful it was me who found you. The streets of Pendragon are hardly crime free, and children are easy targets, _Lelouch_."

Lelouch was so shocked at hearing his name (the first time in three (or four?) days!) he couldn't respond in a timely manner. She knew who he was, that much was certain. She also didn't seem to care.

Lelouch was uncertain whether he was irritated or relieved by this. His birthright demanded attention and concern, but her disinterest was…

_Invigorating. _

She didn't call him by the required formalities despite her assumed commoner status. She didn't bow to his whims, or display any respect whatsoever.

Lelouch smiled.

And then he realized he was smiling and immediately berated himself and transformed it into the most severe glower he could muster.

C.C. didn't notice – didn't care, and that was terrific.

And then there was Pizza Hut.

C.C. bounded in through the tinted glass double doors of the fast food restaurant, Lelouch still following her.

The vile stench of grease and cheese assaulted his olfactory system, and Lelouch was finding it increasingly difficult to breathe.

"C.C.! You're earlier than usual! What'll you be having today?" the teenager at the register cheerfully leapt up from his bored crouch at the counter and immediately zeroed in on C.C.. Well, a _part_ of her anyway. Lelouch rolled his watery eyes at the grinning teen's lack of tact and proceeded to cover his nose in attempt to block out the stench. The teen finally noticed Lelouch. "Oh! Who's this? Are you babysitting?"

Lelouch's eye twitched. C.C. swept Lelouch in front of her, her hands on his shoulders, and smiled lovingly down at him.

_What the hell?_

"This is my son, Lelouch." She brushed her fingers through his hair and pulled him back towards her and held him.

_What the hell?_

The teenager gasped and stared at Lelouch, wide-eyed.

"I had no idea you had a kid!"

"He's adorable!" a female employee came out of the back to get a look at Lelouch.

"So you're not single?"

_WHAT THE HELL?_

"THIS WOMAN IS NOT MY MOTHER!" he shouted, red-faced and pushed away from C.C..

Both of the employees gasped this time while C.C. donned a heartbroken demeanor.

Heartbroken? Lelouch would show her heartbroken.

"Forgive him, he's just been so upset since his father's death last year," C.C. gazed morosely towards the ground. The teenager working the register's eyes began to tear up. "I do my best as his mother… but I know I can never replace the powerful bond between father and son." She spun around dramatically and looked towards the ceiling. "If only my dear late husband could be with us now. It's been so difficult for the both of us. I was merely a housewife, and my husband's life insurance claim was denied. We lost the house, we lost our possessions, we even lost our poor sickly little puppy V.V.," Lelouch gaped, jaw unhinged. Her acting was superb. The employees were soaking it up like butter on hot bread. "We've been living like gypsies, living where we can, eating what we find…" She turned back to Lelouch, faux tears pooling in her eyes. "You look so much like your poor father!"

This was it, the finale.

C.C. sobbed and fell to her knees, pulling Lelouch into a tight embrace.

Lelouch was so perturbed, he just let her.

_This woman is deranged_, he thought. _Absolutely mad._

The two employees began bawling harder than Euphemia had after watching _The Notebook_.

After the employees insisted on giving them three boxes of large everything-included pizzas _for free_ (C.C. pretended to refuse the charity exactly one time), C.C. and Lelouch sat outside by a familiar fountain and ate. C.C. instantaneously returned to her apathetic demeanor. Neither had spoken to each other since the… _performance_… at Pizza Hut.

"Guess even you have your uses, boy." C.C. drawled in between bites of pizza.

Lelouch coughed as a piece of bread got caught in his throat. He blearily stared back at her.

"You're crazy," is all he had to say.

"Maybe," she shrugged in agreement.

It was the beginning of a beautiful friendship?

Uh.

That's probably not right.

* * *

Schneizel el Britannia had not seen Lelouch in several days.

Although this was not exactly an uncommon occurrence, it did bring reason for concern.

He spotted Clovis in a large hammock set up directly in front of Lelouch's bedroom door, reading one of Euphemia's magazines detailing the latest fashion trends in Pendragon.

Schneizel didn't ask.

"Clovis, where's Lelouch?"

"Hmm? Oh, good afternoon Schneizel! Lulu's locked himself in his room again. He's being especially stubborn lately, _honestly_. I thought kids were supposed to be rebellious in their teenage years!"

Schneizel resisted the juvenile urge to facepalm.

"How long has he been in there for?"

"How long? Well, he's spent most of his time in there ever since Father nixed his audience request. The last time I _saw_ him was a few days ago when he was trying to sneak past me." Clovis shook his head in amusement.

"You're telling me Lelouch has not left his quarters _at all_ in the past few days?"

Clovis nodded emphatically.

Schneizel twitched.

* * *

-**Author's Notes:** Thank you for reading! After watching Code Geass a few months ago I wanted to make a more 'happy' universe for the characters, because wow – so much angst in the anime! I absolutely love Lelouch and C.C. and Suzaku and Milly – well _everyone_ really. My intentions for this fic are sort of a "C.C. raises Lelouch" type thing. Will be primarily humor but will focus a lot on character relations, and there is no _solid_ plot or direction set for anything! AKA this is my stress relief/have fun fic. (So if you'd like to see a scenario/character/situation, I'm always welcome to ideas! As long as it doesn't interfere with the tiny bit of plot I do intend to include.)

Oh and… Disclaimer: I don't own Code Geass or Shaun of the Dead or Pizza Hut? I did work there once... But I can dream about the other two! Probably.

If you liked this story or just have something to say, please review! If I don't know people are enjoying this, I won't really see the point in continued posting when I have other things I want to write too.

And I won't know if people are enjoying this unless you review!

Yes you! Right there! Don't think I don't see you! (I don't =()


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